this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
