But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
