before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
