my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
