dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize