my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize