so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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