i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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