Cold hands, warm shart.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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