Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
then he tried to convert me to islam
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
