i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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