hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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