Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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