You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize