He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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