apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
bring money and cleavage
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
