just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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