My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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