Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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