You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
