You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
