if you like me you must not know who I am
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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