A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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