I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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