as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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