I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
