Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
