Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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