What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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