DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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