i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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