well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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