She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just gift wrapped bread.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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