I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
