oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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