That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Buhtt sex?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
