btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
