how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
