she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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