It's just like the Real World with babies
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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