this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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