Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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