Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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