I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
