butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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