Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I licked your asshole in confidence.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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