He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
