small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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