just tell him i said nine months
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
