somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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