Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
