All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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