i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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