Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
