Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
