ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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